I am tearing my hair out over what to do with this diary. There is always a part of me that wants to write, but as is evidenced by my lack of updates, I don't feel the need for it of late. When this has happened in the past, I just move diaries. Which is really only an excuse to get a new layout, as if that will motivate me to actually write something.
It works for a little while, but never long. So I was told that when I have nothing to write about, I should just write about the fact that I have nothing to write about.
The problem is that there seems to be plenty to talk about, plenty of "stuff" going on in the little Betty world where I spend most of my time these days. But I talk about that stuff with the other people involved. Therefore it's not something I really feel the need to discuss here.
And since I spend a disgustingly large amount of time in that world, the rest of my life seems a bit lacking in comparison. I mean am I really doing anything exciting? Not really. I'm going to school like always, I'm hating a few of my classes like always, trying to decide where I am going with it all, like always.
Is there anything in my real life to discuss? Nothing that truly interests me enough to sit down and type it out.
Things are fine. My marriage fine, my child fine, my family basically fine.
I have always been oppossed to using this diary to recount my daily activities. It's probably a snobbish attitude, but I think that I need to have something more to day if I am actually going to take the time to write it down and expect people to read it.
Maybe that's the trouble. The expecting people to read it part. Because honestly I don't really care at this point. I used to, back when I first started doing this so many years ago. Tried to write things that people would want to read. What a waste of time that ended up being.
So there it is. Me trying to decide what to do with all this. I still might move. I don't know. Indecisive as always.
p.s. ~ One real emotion I can recount right now - I still get butterflies when I see that my ex has emailed me.